Sunday, May 16, 2004

A Lilliputian Massacre

First of all, has anyone seen the 1939 animated "Gulliver's Travels?" You know--the one with the kindly, bland-faced Gulliver whose first response to an attempted assasination is a slow and thoughtful, "Myy, my." In fact, as I recall, that was his response to just about everything--the swarming Lilliputians creating a new outfit right on him, the bumbling, munchkin-like watchman who inevitably falls off a bridge or some other tall structure (fortunately?) into Gulliver's hand. Myyy, my.

Back to my main point: Well, think about the tiny, bumbling watchman for a second. Think about his annoying, highpitched yelps and gurgles. (Made you want to step on him, didn't it? Or am I alone here?)

Now, if you've ever played the video game "Halo," think about the little Covenant aliens shaped like triangles with bad attitudes. Think about their annoying, highpitched yelps and gurg.... hey.... Don't they sound IDENTICAL to the Lilliputian watchman? Some designer watched the "Gulliver's Travels" cartoon as a child and thought, "This movie would be SO much better if I could run that watchman over with a ATV and then shoot him with his own weapon."

hmm.

Post Script: I'm not necessarily condoning Halo. I recognize the slickness of the design, but I don't particularly like it. The Boy plays it, and from downstairs I get to hear the sounds of space battles and Lilliputian watchmen getting their butts kicked.


Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Heads and Tails

As a postscript to an already too long post, I'd like to add the fact that I've always thought that my little cat, Boo had the tail of a much taller cat. After measuring, I think I'm right. Boo, weighing in at something like 8 pounds, has a tail that is a majestic 11 1/4 inches long. Nihao, at 13 pounds, has a 10 3/4 inch tail. Does this prove anything? Not really.

But it somehow gives me a weird satisfaction.

Succumbing to the Dork Side

So the past couple weeks at the McW household, have (among other much more important things) consisted of lots of tee-heeing and trying on various Jedi outfits and bragging about how badass in the force one is. Oh yes, padewans, we have been playing the Star Wars video game "Knights of the Old Republic." In fact, not 20 minutes ago, the boy soundly kicked the booty of the Dark Lord of the Sith once and for all. And, dorks that we are, we're probably going to do the whole thing over, so our character can be a total annoying jerk in all the conversations and interactions.

I have been playing Zelda - Wind Waker in between KOTOR stints, and as a result, I've found myself at times telling Ed to just somersault over long distances--it's faster... Oh. Different game.

KOTOR turned out to be a pretty interesting game. I enjoyed the interactions and possibilities for doing it up light side style, being a complete smartass, or simply tossing away your conscience for the dark side. There has been some debate about which answers will actually garner the MOST light side points-- ie: Should I take the reward for saving this guy's kid and thank him? Should I wave my hand and say, "You wish to double that amount you're paying me?" Definitely not. Oh... I should decline the reward and offer to give the kid a piggyback ride. Yeah. Totally most light side.

Though it was a fun game, and we'll certainly play it again, there were things about it that drove me utterly NUTS. For example, it's a game with lots of depth blah blah blah...so why are there only about 3 character models for NPC heads??? It's disconcerting to walk up to someone completely new and see the face of the same guy whose innocence you proved on Dantooine, who tried to get you to smuggle goods off Korriban, who mistook you for someone else on another planet, and who now appears to be a Sith academy hopeful with a squeaky voice. ANNOYING. Especially when the voice is polar opposite of what you expect from the character model.

I did appreciate the reference to "walking carpets," though.

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Cautionary note:

My children, if you have any interest in actually knowing how much money is in your account, or making deposits that post to your account within a reasonable amount of time, if you are interested in a bank with decent online banking, that shows accurate numbers and makes an ounce of freaking sense, do NOT bank with TCF bank.

I have called customer service several times about a mysterious number that shows up in my online statement... I've gotten a different answer EVERY SINGLE TIME. Not even the people who are supposed to be helping me out have a clue how it works. This particular number is sometimes negative, sometimes positive, and always a mystery. I've been able to deduce that it has something to do with pending transactions. I've been confidently told by customer service that it represents what my balance will be once everything posts, or that it represents the sum of pending balances and has nothing to do with my current balance, or that it represents my actual available balance, etc etc. I was dumb enough to believe a couple of them, and as a result, ended up bouncing stuff, which makes me CRAZY. Finally I decided to ignore them all. Things were going well, until a deposit I made didn't show up in my account a few days later. A call to good old customer service revealed that my deposit had been lost. LOST. I think I'd be better putting my money into a shoebox. As a result of the lost deposit, several things bounced--they were good enough not to charge me overdraft fees. (see? I can appreciate that fact.) However, it meant that my only means of cash--my debit card, (no more credit cards) had been cut off due to "insufficient funds." Another call and I was assured that it would all be cleared up by Mon at 9am...which was good because I coasted to work that morning on gas fumes. A check in call around 11 and the entirely unhelpful rep assured me that everything would be cleared up by..."2 days at the most." So... long story short, I managed to get home, and as soon as I get my next check I'm opening up a National City account.

Lesson learned.
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On the brighter side, we have discovered another incredibly neat place about 2 minutes from our house. Nope--I'm not talking about the rocking HUGE Salvation Army right nearby, or the very cool little Liberty bar in downtown Pontiac... It's actually a greenhouse/nursery. I know that might sound lame, but this place is hands down the coolest greenhouse I've ever seen. It's been there since 1897--the greenhouses are real glass, (thus, smaller than today's plexi ones) and there are a mutitude of rooms through which one can wander, looking at handmade tile amidst the plants, or wrought iron work from around the world, or just staring at plants I've never imagined. There are mysterious and ancient vines that wind their way from room to room. You can tell the concrete has been there for a hundred years--it's aged and mossy, like something you'd see in the secret garden or read about in a George MacDonald book. It's magic.

Out back, if you wind far enough through the rows of trees and shrubs and flowering things, eventually you'll find a picnic table at the base of a HUGE oak tree by the river. Maybe we'll take a picnic sometime.