It snot you. It's me.
What can I say? Over the past few days I think I've experienced more phlegm than I have in the rest of my whole life put together. Miserable. The worst thing about it all is that since it's all taking place in my sinuses, my ears are begging to be popped. I gave in to the pressure a couple days ago and the change of pressure was so great that I literally staggered and had to sit on the floor due to the extreme dizziness. I still can't really hear out of my right ear. It's like wearing a helmet full of water. Like poor Mr. Yorke in the "No Surprises" video. Sigh. Or more likely, splutter.

I'm still on the ferret bandwagon. I've built a dreamy cage that, heck-- I wouldn't mind living in. It's got three levels and a hammock and a tube and a litter box and and.... and I'm so darn lame. As much as I'll feel guilty about it, we're probably not going to get the critters from the ferret shelter after all. Most of the ones who end up in the shelter are at least 4 years old, which is considered geriatric in ferret-time. The main drawback to ferrets is that they're prone to various illnesses later in life. ie: I'd rather not bring them home from the shelter only to have them keel over from adrenal disease 2 weeks later. The guilt would be unbearable. Plus, I've never owned ferrets before. I ought to start out with younger, healthy ones. Regardless of where we get them, they will be Ferguson and Sashsa.

I was informed by a coworker the other day that while she was helping a college girl find some books for classes, the girl checked her list and declared, "Okay. The next thing I need is a threesis--you know---like a dictionary, where you look up a word to find another one like it?""

NEWSFLASH! ANGRY BUSINESSMAN THROWS TANTRUM!

I remember a few years ago when we were having problems with people spilling coffee all over books in sections, then sneaking away.... we made the obvious choice of requesting that people stay in the cafe unless they had to-go cups. One "gentleman," after telling the clerk that he wanted a mug, and yeah yeah yeah, he'd stay in the cafe and all that, wandered out onto the floor and proceeded to spill coffee on a stack of bestsellers.

Now, it drives me nuts. I'm generally a nice person. I don't want to make people feel dumb. But what if they are dumb? Not even then are we allowed to look someone up and down and say, "Do you need help, Fuckwit??" You would be amazed at some of the abuse people heap, simply because we cannot answer in kind.

In any case, a staff member thoughtfully asked the suit if he would like to freshen up his coffee and transfer it into a to-go cup so he could wander the store. Let's look at the facts, shall we?

1. Suit KNOWS the rules
2. Suit flouts the rules and makes a mess
3. Staff offers him free coffee and a new cup.
4. Suit ignores
5. Staff repeats request, reminding Suit of rule.
6. Suit berates staff

"I don't LIKE to-go cups! Are you telling me I'm CONFINED to the cafe just because of what I'm drinking out if?? You people think you can run my life?? Do you know who I AM?

7. Manager is called. Manager repeats free coffee offer and reminds Suit of rule. Gently asks Suit to please give our store the same respect that we would give were we in his home.

The Suit became livid. Several eye witnesses testified to the fact that fine wisps of steam
wafted from his ears. A large vein stood out on his forehead. He roared something unprintable, then stormed toward the door. On his way out, he snatched at a 6 foot tall revolving bookmark display and flung it petulantly to the floor. Merchandise scattered. Customers scattered.

K. called the police. They said if he ever returns to let him know he's banned, and call them. The next week, suit was back, leaving large rings of coffee on a Wallstreet Journal he hadn't purchased. K. Called the police, then informed the man that he needed to leave. Self righteous Suit protested to the cops when they arrived, insisting it was all made up just so he would look bad. Why pick on him? This is the first time he's even come to this store! So K. showed them the qued up security tape, where, in perfect focus...

Stompity stomp, yelling and roaring, flinging and leaving. Suit left very quickly and redly. We haven't seen him since. Thank heaven.