alwayswearunderwear


I remember it as the big joke of the high school Latin club or what-have-you. "Semper ubi can ubi." Or something along those lines. Students would intone it seriously across the cafeteria, and those of us "in the know" would titter into our hands.

It comes to me because today I was reminded of an event that took place several weeks ago. A. told me about it with a mixture of distaste and laughter. How does a small, flower-printed pair of panties end up hastily wadded under a display in our children's department? I'm not sure I want to know. Wait. Make that a definite "no." I really don't want to know.

The thing that reminded me happened at the drive through at Taco Bell today. You may not inspect the curb while waiting in line at the drive through, but I sure do. There are all kinds of bizarre things to be found on streets and curbs. I have seen these things at the side of the road:

1. a big live crab
2. a gun
3. (In Illinois) a crumpled New York license plate.
3. two policemen on foot with flashlights and dogs in front of a slowly moving police car.
4. a guy wearing nothing but a sandwich board that said "ART"
5. a big cd binder with 50 cds in it. Unfortunately, most of them were crappy music.

I'm hoping to someday find a big envelope of rent payments for the next 300 years. I'm not crossing my fingers.

As I glanced down today, I was slightly startled and amused to see an underwire. You know, from an underwire bra. The kind that drive you nuts until you have to just rip the wire part out. There was no mistaking it. They look a certain way. A flat "C" of metal with the ends coated in plastic so that they don't actually make you bleed when they painfully stab you. I'm not going to make a cup guess or anything, but I can sympathize with the poor woman who was so frustrated with torturing bustenhalter that she ripped from it the offending wire and flung it from her car just in time to place an order for a "Meef Chubacabra Combo, with coke and a soft taco. "