I'm not a good little consumer...

Not only for the fact that rather than the "buying and throwing things out" cycle, I often use freecycle to get and give stuff away, thus robbing large companies of revenue and the government of potential tax money. Darn me.

Currently though, the reason I am a poor consumer is that I'm far, far too over-analytical about television commercials. I don't watch an awful lot of TV. However, I do read into, overanalyze and get huffy about advertisements at will. When I see a poorly executed, awkward, or disjointed commercial, I get cranky and sometimes downright angry. I want to write companies and tell them how counterproductive their ad was (probably only to me). But then I realize I don't care about them.

Cases in point:

1. A commercial for a daily shower spray: a woman extols how wonderful it is, and how it's equal to the crowd of minority women in maid uniforms scrubbing the shower behind her. "Same time tomorrow?" she asks them as they file away, dejected and sweaty. Um... So, Spokeslady, are you really implying that you're not using the product you're advertising?

2. A local commercial for a dentist's office: The dentist himself is the spokesperson. He looks very much like a vampire who also happens to be a pedophile...in the mafia. He goes on and on about how you need not fear any pain at the dentist--they completely sedate you during your...procedure. Brrrr. Just...brrr.

3. A lending company commercial: a woman illustrates the simplicity of going online, applying for a loan, and ding! you're approved. The laptop she holds up to demonstrate... has clearly been jimmied in post-production in order to show the full-screen logo of the company. It looks about as convincing as a piece of paper taped to the screen.

4. I'm a pacifist, but I want to personally shoot to their gory, bloody deaths, every "hip" dancing @sshole in every Verizon V-Cast commercial. They're not just enjoying life like the folks in iPod commercials. They're not quirky and likeable. They are pointedly obnoxious, self-important wastes of space. And they should die. That goes for anyone who plays the song, "My Humps" in public.

5. It's not Comcastic. It's a rip-off. When you can get VOIP from Voice-Pulse or Vonage for $25 unlimited long distance, and Comcast claims their $40 package is "teh awesome," I have to snort derisively. Pardon. Add onto that a gentleman seductively caressing his phone and playing the tune to "Loving You" on the buttons, and I have to... er, puke derisively. Particularly with that off-key pseudo-orgasmic howling moment at the end of the commercial. No man should love a phone that way. NO. MAN.

Rant over. I think perhaps the best solution is to never watch TV.

Quick Comic Review: Married to the Sea

Married to the Sea is a daily one-panel treat wherein the two authors post a humorously captioned or altered historic print. The humor often is based in the fact that their captions are so darn inappropriate for the subject matter in terms of era and lingo.

Warning: you may not laugh if you don't find cusses funny.

Check out their MySpace site, where you may indulge in photos of many zesty hipster youths wearing MTTS swag.

This comic rates my "Daily Read" Star of Excellence (which has something to do with the fact that it's posted daily, but has mostly to do with its keenness level).

It looks just like you, Percy.

I hardly ever sit down intending to find a previously undiscovered yet interesting webcomic. They tend to somehow find me, almost. In the midst of all the possible moving weirdness and such recently, I've actually stumbled over several lovely examples.

What does it take for me to adore and read all the archives of a webcomic? I was thinking about this lately. My top reads vary wildly, but there are some things that hold true for all of them.

1. Interesting art. You don't have to be Michelangelo, but if the look of something bores me to tears in the obligatory ten or so strips I afford every comic, it's going to have to be a no. It can be as simple as Patches or as complex as Lowbright. If you have skill, it shows. Here are some sub-points under the "art" heading.
--For god's sake, don't--DON'T try to cop Akira Toriyama. I don't even like it when Toriyama does it, much less you. Sloppily drawn, spikey haired, wanna-be anime pointy faced protagonists will not even garner 10 pages worth of attention.
--This is not to say that manga-style comics will be discarded out of hand. There are some very skillfully done series I do love in that style. I can appreciate it done right.
--If you're not able to consistently draw recognizable characters, you're not ready to make a web comic. If I have to guess who's speaking, or who someone is from panel to panel, I get cranky and end up just clicking over to Boing-Boing or somewhere.

2. This may be classified partially under art, but I realllly appreciate good character design. Part of that is the look of a character, but also included is that person's (or thingy's) actual character and personality. Again, consistency is a good thing. I may roll my eyes at what your character just did, but if it makes sense within their motivations and mindset, and the story is worthwhile, I'm generally okay with that. Not to say you have to have some sort of static yahoo--It's also interesting to see characters grow or change, and when it's done well (a difficult thing), I applaud it.

3. The obvious points are important, like setting and story. I've had exposure to a lot of webcomics in my day. I also have good pattern recognition (not in the technical/Gibson sense, but in the "I recognize and associate visual stuff fairly well, even over long periods of time" way.), so if you're ripping off another webcomic, you're not going to get much love from me. Unless you do it SO better than the original.
More subpoints:
-- The web is flooded with comics about snarky, hip, twenty-something pals living in an apartment, talking about relationships, and then drinking too much and seeing silly things. Unless you think you can somehow do it better than Questionable Content, (I DOUBT IT) do yourself a favor and try something else.
-- A comic that someone earnestly tries to turn into a forum for political or other causes usually makes me yawn. I have a "Not Agaaaain" alert that goes off when I am within 50 paces of someone who's taking themselves or their comic too seriously. Sure, make a few political jokes here and there. Point out some social issues now and then. But don't harp on it. Please don't make long, inescapable rants about it. Please?
-- Is there an interesting story or clever writing in there? That's how I know I've stumbled over something worthwhile. I mean to read 10 or so, and suddenly find I'm at the end of the archive and it's however much later. It doesn't have to be epic and grand. It doesn't even have to be a "story" per say. Hecks--some of my favorites have no words sometimes. But whether visual or via words, the writer's saying something I have to be intrigued or entertained by to bother.

4. You may be as silly as you want, with my blessing. If the art and characters are interesting, and the writing is clever, you can get away with a multitude of things.

That time again...

Well, it's happening already; The neighbors are beginning the annual month-long Fourth of July celebration, which means we can sit on the balcony and get free fireworks displays. *claps like a second grader* Last night it was the neighbors across the street from our house, which meant that when we had our nightly hang-out time on the porch (on the back of the house), all we got were flashes and the sound of the fireworks going off. Ah well. It was interesting, at least.

Things have been even more insane than usual around here, with a couple possible moves in the works with new jobs for the Boy. It was busy enough with the idea of one possiblility. Now there are two. We've been frantically fencing phone calls, emails, packages and paperwork, and researching like crazy, and the Boy has been attending various interviews along the chain.

Strangely, if it happens, I'd actually be okay with the idea of moving. I would miss my friends dreadfully, but it would force me to be more intentional in emailing and calling. Neither possible destination is more than a day's drive from where we are now, so that's a comforting thought.

Then again, we might just stay right here. I'm honestly, actually, shockingly...okay with any of the above. It could be an adventure either way.

The Cause

Alert! Achtung! Are there any of you planning to go to Cornerstone Music Festival this year who haven't gotten your ticket yet? If so, you should consider buying your tickets online. When you are purchasing, enter "street team member" code: 37k610. This will help Sandy from Germany to be able to go.

She stumbled over a couple of my Cornerstone photos on Flickr, and sent me an email about how she's trying to raise enough points to get into the festival. She's never been to C-stone before, and she's already dropping mega-cash on the plane ticket, so it would be a nice favor if you know anyone who's going to buy tickets to get her the final points toward her pass.

It doesn't cost you anything extra--just a couple seconds of your time.

There's more info on Sandy on her MySpace page, here..

Score!

One of our Memorial weekend activities consisted of the Boy and I going on down to Micro Center, which is a massive orgy of nerdery and computer parts... I mean, a large computer/tech store.

Before that, we gorged ourselves on excellent sushi (oh glory!)at Nobana, an offshoot of the wonderful Noble Fish.

Back to the tech stuff. I flag rather quickly at places like that. Not that I don't love technology... It's just that it's a big place, I do not speak the language fluently, the Boy flits from place to place exclaiming and examining things, and I eventually just trail behind him in a bit of a daze. Not necessarily a bad thing. I usually end up going over and gawking at things in the Apple section.

In any case, this time when we left, I had a super-cool tablet! I've been using Painter IX to make art--so much cleaner and cheaper than busting out the oil paint and canvas. The smell of linseed oil is a happy memory from my childhood, but it's nice not to have to deal with dirty rags and paint water. Sooo, I've been having fun with the fact that it's pressure sensitive, so you can sketch in varied darknesses of pencil strokes, depending on how hard you press while you're drawing on the tablet. Hooray tablet!

Hooray also for the freaking out-of-the-blue baby freaking grand piano the Boy has finagled for me!! We're giving our current one to one of his coworkers, and then we'll have room for it. Don't get me wrong--I'm fond of my current piano, but even tuned, it's got that plinky, metallic sound common in consoles. It's hard for me to love listening to it. I grew up with a full upright that had a rich, round sound to it, and that's what I desperately miss sometimes. But no more!!

Hooray for unexpected good things!