Small Stories: This one probably wasn't so small

Kitchen renovation draws near, as in "tomorrow" near. As I was moving things out of the room today, I came across an old postcard mixed in with my boxes. It caught my eye because the front was almost completely white, though it was scuffed and blotchy. I turned it over because I couldn't remember receiving anything like that, and lo and behold, I hadn't: (address erased)

There are a few mysteries to solve here:

The first was how this postcard came to mixed in with my stacks of boxes. As I flipped the card over again, I realized why the front looked strange. It was covered with paint. Then the tape on the front made sense--someone had taped this thing to the wall, then painted over it. Somehow I'd knocked it off and into my stuff. I scoured the wall for a postcard sized mark in the paint, and didn't find one, until later I happened to notice the mark on the bottom of a shelf in a cupboard. Mystery...uh, solved?

Here are the facts:

Holmes is the name of the people who lived here before us. Earldine and... her husband had some equally awkward name.

Here is Earldine in her heyday.

When we bought the house, Mr. Holmes had broken a hip and was unable to navigate the stairs. They were both in their 70s, it seemed.

Their son was supposed to be taking care of the house while they lived in an assisted facility. He didn't. There was a pile of trash out front that looked like a Jersey landfill when we first saw the place. There were heaps of junk in the garage, basement, and every other conceiveable palce something could be stuffed. Their son was supposed to move the remaining junk and furniture out of the house before we moved in. He took the tv and left everything else, including family photos and book keeping. I don't think much of their son.

One of the bedrooms was obviously used by someone younger (I can only assume their son). It was covered in chewed gum, and a lock was defiantly adhered to the bedroom door using several gazillion nails. Whatever kid lived there had absolutely no respect for the house. I assume it was the same kid who clumsily nailed a million random nails into the stairs to keep them from squeeking when he snuck out. Okay--that's a bit of artisitc license, but it makes sense, right? Some pissy kid--punches holes in his wall, insists on locking his room, leaves chewed gum all over everything, and sneaks out at night. Sounds like an absolute joy.

The second mystery seems to have solved itself. I can only assume that Bill was the son in question. It stands to reason that HE is that damn gum chewing kid. The postmark on the card looks like either 1986 or 1996, which would put Bill in his 30s or 40s at the time, maybe?

So for whatever reason, it seems Bill was living with/mooching off his parents, having an affair with a married woman (codename: Legs ?!), and bitching to his mistress on the phone (on his parents' tab) about how boring it was living with Mom. What a winner. I knew I hated that guy from the start.

Another mystery is who this "Legs" is, and why she didn't just hand-write the darn postcard. I also can't conceive of why she'd cheat on her husband with a whiney schmuck living with his parents.

Why the heck would someone tape this postcard to the bottom of a shelf, and paint over it? Was it Earldine, who found it first and was hiding it from her son? Was it the ever-juvenile Bill, hiding it from his parents, and if so, why the kitchen, of all places? Why paint over it? Perhaps someone stuck it there and it was inadvertantly painted over later? We'll never know.

The final mystery will most likely remain unsolved forever. And it is:

Cletus??!? Seriously??