You know, Dream Cruise was really not that bad this year. We bought some new video games and stayed home all weekend. It was actually pretty nice, though I was only slightly disappointed that in this version of Zoo tycoon, park visitors cannot be eaten by escaped animals. It ups the stakes, and makes the game more exciting. I'm pretty sure that's not pathological in any way. The Boy was playing Sith Lords. After about an hour of freaking out every time a wookie talked, the cats gave up and settled down.
Traffic on Woodward is already completely back to normal as far as I can tell. We drove the new car down to hang with the Boy's mom tonight. It was good to see her. I think I must have the best mother-in-law the world has ever known. She doesn't play that passive-aggressive game many in-laws seem to do, she's not at all prissy, and she's totally laid back. "Are you glad to be done with asshole finance guy?" she asked as we took her for a spin in the new car.
One word of wisdom gleaned from our night, though--and I know this is probably an unnecessary warning for most of you, but sweet mother of gastronomical goodness!! --Stay the heck away from the buffet line-style restaurant called "Sign of the Bleefcarver" on Woodward. It was seriously almost funny how bad the food was. We thought it would be fine, since we're eating low-carb, and beef and beefcarving fits pretty well into that sort of thing.
Our first warning should have been the little sign next to the BBQ beef that said"Don't worry! Not very spicy!"
Now, when I say "beef," I'm talking "severe memory throwback beef." Every Sunday when we were little, and our mom would put a "roast" in the oven before whisking us off to church, and when we returned hours later, the meat was dry, grey, and not even redeemable with massive amounts of gravy and horseradish. Every Sunday. She'd also boil the heck out of various vegetables until they were sodden and sad looking, and then garnish the grey meat with them. No wonder we all lived for the yorkshire pudding. It was the only thing on the table that actually had a color.
Ah, memories.... uh, anyway, back to the restaurant. When I put a brussel sprout into my mouth, the mere pressure of being on my tongue caused it to collapse into a pulpy mass. It had no taste, to speak of, but it did have that strong, bitter smell that can be tempered by simply cooking them correctly. I didn't even spit it out. Mom would have been proud. However, I did get a wicked stomach ache later in the evening. Hmm.
So, on a scale of 1 to delish, I would rate this restaurant a little less than a 1. On the adjusted "Perfect for Old People" scale, this would rate very highly.
Buuuut, we did stop in at a place called Little Daddy's Parthenon earlier this week. We got omelets, which in my world, usually tend to be serviceable, unremarkable food (that happens to be low-carb) . Not these--they were just luscious, and opened my eyes to various omlettey possibilities. That meal rated a pretty darn highly, and wasn't all that expensive, either.
5 comments:
Glad you guys survived the Dream Cruise, I didn't even know it was going on. (I have a life... really, I dooo!)
As a person on a special diet, I find the BeefCarver very good. No, I am not an old person (45) but you really should be more specific about what you don't like.
As your Blog stands, it is immature slander. Were the salads wilted? Were the vegetables spoiled? Were the desserts old? None of this has been the case when I was there, and it is always full, so it would not seem like the food would be stale as there is a large turnover.
Dear Anonymous,
Slander is defined as "a false and defamatory statement or report." There is nothing false about my little review of the Beefcarver. Many a food critic would be sued if stating an opinion were considered slander. I think what you meant to say was that you disagree with me, and therefore I must be wrong.
You seem to have latched on to the idea that the food was stale. Read again. I never said that. I'm sure it had been cooked recently. And cooked. And cooked. Just as my dear mother used wonderful, fresh ingredients to create god-awful culinary travesties, The Beefcarver has managed to take the same tack.
Short of giving a chemical breakdown of food items, how the could I possibly be more specifc about what I disliked? The vegetables had the hell boiled out of them. They were mushy and tasteless. The meat was grey and dry. Not even the gravy could redeem it. And yes, now that you mention it, the (all-iceberg) salad WAS wilted. The dressing was also watered down.
I recognize that you seem to have enjoyed the Beefcarver's food, and I'm open to the possibility that somewhere in an infinite universe, I could eat a tasty meal at a Beefcarver somewhere. (However, I'm not particularly anxious to test that theory.)
It's possible for other people's experiences to differ from your own, and it makes you look ridiculous when you rail because someone has an opion you don't like. Get over yourself.
PS. Merrrrrry Christmas!
I work at the Beefcarver and I have to say that you are a pathic man. We work very hard to make the food as good as possible. Its not my fault cheap assholes like you dont want to pay more for a decent meal. Maybe if you paid a little extra for your food it would be better!
Wow. Indignant anonymous people unite! I generally try to keep things civil, but you seem to have taken off the gloves, Anonymous #2.
First off, yes. I am a "pathic" (I assume you were trying to spell "pathetic") man. I'm so pathetic a man, in fact, that I lack a Y chromosome. Get a dictionary, or ask your closest highschool graduate for help with what that one means.
Second, are you even aware what you're saying, Asshat? You're saying since your restaurant is cheap, you serve shitty food. Read your comment again. I'm serious.
My work here is done. Nothing to see, people--move along.
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