A Sixth Category...

to add to my increasingly inaccurately named "Top Five Most Hoped for Jeopardy Categories:"

Bonnet hair dryers. I know I've probably written about mine before. Jen commented about good childhood memories attached to bonnet dryers, and it got me thinking. Some of my best childhood memories are of the warm whoosh of the bonnet hair dryer my mom had. It was relaxing and calming. I still find it to be.

I never intended to know a lot about bonnet hairdryers. It's just a necessity if I intend to keep myself supplied with one over the years (I can stop any time.).

Here are things I've learned about bonnet dryers, in case you should ever have the need to purchase one, or in case you come to your senses and realize EVERYONE should have one.

1. Purchase your dryer used. Buy vintage. Preferably 70s. First off, it will cost you much less than buying a new one (about $30) from one of the few companies that make home bonnet dryers these days. You can expect to pay about $15-20 (including s&H) for a dryer from eBay. Second, new hairdryers are exceedingly poorly designed in terms of usability (the uncomfortably sharp knob is on the opposite side from the cord, which is on yet another side from the tube, which means it needs even more space on your counter to access all the sides. Surprisingly, new dryers are also generally far bigger, the air flow is poor, and the hoses are too short.

2. Don't be afraid, but do look closely-- If the seller says it runs well, and their feedback is good, you should be okay. You can easily do a once-over of the innards once it arrives. Do look closely at pictures of the hose and bonnet, though. If they're yellowed and shiny-looking, avoid at all costs. Some vintage dryers tend to accumulate a greasy stickiness on their plastic air tubes which also gets on the bonnet. Soap and hot water can't remove it. You're stuck with it. Also, look for round, mushroom shaped bonnets rather than the chef's hat shaped ones. The round ones tend to be in better shape, and have fewer seams to rip.

3. The cases can be a bonus score. Keep an eye out--Many vintage bonnet dryers come with fantastic round hatbox-type cases for carrying/storage. You can pull out the insert and use these as a neato purse or just a nifty way of storing stuff.

4. Give it a physical. Once your hairdryer arrives, throw the hose into the dishwasher if it can be detatched. If it's permanently attached, give it a once over with a mild cleaning solution. (Nothing smelly, since the odor will be blowing directly at you through the hose later).
Turn the dryer on for a few moments. Listen and smell. Is it rattling? Does it smell like burning? If these are a yes, don't panic, but do keep an eye out for smoke later as you let it run on one of the heated settings. You should notice the smell dissipating after a while. It just means the thing hasn't been run regularly in a looong time.

Turn your baby over. Make sure it isn't plugged in, and that you're not standing in a puddle of water in the middle of a thunderstorm and all that. Look for the larger screws on the outer corners. These should free the top and bottom halves. There a a gazillion different kinds of dryers, but these are the basics, I've found. Sometimes the fan area will require another screw loosened in order for you to peek in. Slightly dampen Q-tips in water (just enough that it doesn't shred--there shouldn't be any dripping) and go over the inevitable dusty areas inside the dryer. Once those are clean, take a look at the fan itself. If there was a rattling noise when you ran it before, check to see that the blades are tightly attached. If they are, check the areas surrounding the fan to see what it could be hitting or brushing to make the noise. Most of the time a little wiggling is all it takes to get it running more smoothly. Make sure there is no debris around the heating coils (hairs, dust, whathaveyou) and then close 'er on up again.

5. Treat her well. Despite the fact that vintage dryers are workhorses, you don't want to run them for hours at a time. Most of them are still older than me. I've found that 20 minutes is not too much with most of the ones I've had. You just want to keep it in mind.

6. Recommended brands: If you can find a Ronson Escort, consider yourself lucky. This is the most beautifully compact and slickly designed of all the dryers I've had, though it cost a little more than the average vintage bonnet dryer. If you get one from the 60's, it has a lovely avocado-colored square carrying case that's excellently vintage as well. The 70's ones have a more generic round case. My only complaint is that it's more complicated to get inside if you want to do maintenance. Not that I've needed to since I got mine three years ago... GE and Kenmore also made really sturdy dryers, though the GE hoses tend to be in better shape for some reason. Also, all the models I've seen come with the neat round case. Keep in mind that if your dryer comes with a bum hose or bonnet, you can actually buy these items new. You'll have to rig them somehow to fit your dryer, but generally, that's not hard.

7. Enjoy!! You can use it to dry your hair, take away headaches, escape from a stressful day, as a desk heater in the winter (I get cold feet sometimes--you can toast your toes with it too) dry your nails, dry your pets (it's not as frightening for them as a regular hairdryer can be) and on the cold setting, you can get some relief from the heat in the summer. I could go on, but I already look like a huge bonnet dryer nerd, so I won't.

There you have it. My opus on bonnet dryers.