Comeuppance

I was poking around RateMDs.com today at random, checking out some of the doctors in my area. I found one who seems like kind of a jackass, but he's kind of good-looking, and everyone agrees knows what he's doing. As long as I don't mind submitting to random, seemingly unrelated tests, being condescended to, and having MRIs like they're going out of style, I think he'll be fine.

Here are some of the reviews (both positive and negative) people gave this doctor:

“I just came home from a two-week stay in the hospital. My initial complaint in the ER was pain in the inside elbow. Next thing I know I awake in intensive care with a tube in my nose, 5 IVs and a foley bag that Dr. House bumped with his cane. I developed this funny rash on the opposite elbow. Then I get a call from my husband wondering why two people in lab coats were trying to break in our house to look for anything suspicious. He tearfully let them take one our koi from the backyard pond for any clues to my illness. I fall asleep to the words, "this may sting a little bit." After I awake I see Dr. House looming over me inspecting the inside of my eyelids. With a big grin he looks at his staff and orders broad spectrum antibiotics, IVG, Interferon, steroids and Kool-aid (for himself). I ask through my grogginess, "What did you find?" Dr. House replied, "You have Koipondimylitis. You've been using too short a fish net to clean out your pond." And he left. And I got better.”

“House is brilliant! After the much-repeated lumbar punctures, MRIs, CTs, 14 incorrect diagnoses (including the ever-present vasculitis), Cameron's amateur physchotherapy, Foreman's condescending crap, and Wilson's very very soft hands (you can do that test again, Doctor!), my problem was finally resolved. I needed new glasses.”

“This is a doctor who understands chronic pain.”

“First of all, this guy was late. Then he said I was obviously a hypochondriac. However, his staff noticed several symptoms I couldn't possibly make up, even subconsciously. After fifteen diagnoses and the removal of an equivalent number of vital organs, I was pronounced to have a terminal illness. Thank God I don't have to live with the pain of losing everything. Now, that's my family and the government's problem. “

“I was amazed at the way Dr. House treated everyone. But he did cure me. They thought it was Lupus but turned out to be an in grown toe nail. Thank you Dr. House. “