Not Agaaaain!

One of the many uninformed Stephs who give out my email address as their own has done it again.

This time it must be the same Steph who signed me up for a MySpace account—she's the only vapid junior-high girl in that list.

She’s signed herself up for “Stardoll,” which is a “celebrity dress-up site” where angsty preteens can make “personalized avatars” which I’m sure look nothing like them, and then chat and meet other angsty teens or pedophiles, whose avatars look nothing like them.

In any case, she must not want her parents to know what she’s up to, because the email I received was announcing that “my child” had opened an account on Stardoll. Clearly she thought she was having the parental email sent to herself, so of course she would just approve it, and her parents would be none the wiser.

But instead it came to Steph McW: Crusher of Prepubescent Souls!!

Now you all get to advise again:

A, I ignore it, or B, I reply that “no child of mine is going to sign up for this hussy-fest!”

Hmm.

Oh, Sweet Irony!

Blackadder: Baldrick, are you even aware of what irony is? Baldrick: (affronted) Of course! It's like....bronzey...and goldy.

Bite me Alanis Morrisette. Here's what irony is:

When I first met The Boy six years ago, he was doing facilities management at a place he loved. He was pouring himself into the job and his employers were happily sucking the life out of him without appreciating the fact that he was putting in the hours of four people. That, and he actually still loved the place and gave everything he had.

Move forward to three years ago. We got married, and the week after we got back from the honeymoon, they let him know that they were firing him since they were "restructuring." Fah. In retrospect, it was a really good thing, because he put so much heart into that job that I don't think he would have ever left it for anything better. Still, The Boy wrote a bunch of instructions for his sucessor to make sure the company was okay.

It sucked, but we moved on, and he worked hard to get to where he is right now--a much better job with more reasonable hours, that pays wayyyy the heck better.

Meanwhile, the place that laid The Boy off was surprised to find that they were having difficulty finding someone who would be willing to work themselves ragged like The Boy did. So they divided the responsibilities into a couple different positions. Still, they couldn't find anyone to take on the load of things The Boy had been responsible for. They offered better pay. Still, no one wanted to, or was capable of it. Quite a while later, they finally got some people to take over The Boy's responsibilities. Three people, to be exact. They were paying three salaries for people to do what The Boy had done for one measly one. And the people they were paying sucked at it. Systems and programs The Boy had put into place rapidly fell apart as they were ignored, and stuff started going to shit.

Finally, the company hired yet another person to oversee the other people because things had gotten so bad. This was not just anyone they hired to oversee building facilities. It was the wife of the architect who built the freaking building. So now they're paying four salaries, including to the wife of the architect, and things still aren't getting done.

Yesterday, The Boy had lunch with a friend who still worked at the company, and that person explained the situation to him. They introduced him to the architect's wife, and The Boy, being the sweet, non-vindictive person that he is, gave her some advice, walked her around the building explaining things, and dug out the policy manuals and systems he'd put into place so many ages ago, and that people had ignored after he left. She was very grateful.

Prepare for IRONY.

The Boy will now be paid for doing consulting at the company that laid him off, because things went to such shit after they forced him out.

Company to do list:
1. We don't appreciate you
2. You're fired for no good reason
3. Why can't we find anyone to do your job?
4. Why can't the four people we finally hired in your place manage to do your job?
5. Can we pay you to come back and help those four people learn how to do your job we never appreciated you for and fired you from?


I.R.O.N.Y.

Ahoy!

While we were in Traverse City, we got to tool around onboard the Maritime Academy's ship, the State of Michigan. Our friend knew the captain, so he took us on a private tour, which was quite nice of him. It was a really interesting place--it used to be a spy ship, listening on on sub communications and such. It's been renovated and can now accommodate about 60 academy trainees while on the Great Lakes. I'm just full of useless information.

I wouldn't be all that keen on sleeping on a miniscule little bunk, but the view is great, and they'd have to drag me inside off-deck.

I guess they take the ship out for the Fourth of July Fireworks, and when the Blue Angels put on airshows over Traverse Bay, they use the State of Michigan as their centering point. I guess the planes come within 20 or 30 feet of the deck going a couple hundred miles an hour. My guess is that the experience would be a lot like clinging to a post right next to the railroad tracks while a freight train goes rushing by. Your adrenaline is shrieking, "Sweet jesu, you're going to diiiie!" but your brain is enjoying every second.

Moving on...I was kind of shocked at just how blue the bay is. It's practically tropical.

The Boy approves of the view from the third deck of the ship.

Despite how sunny it was, the beaches were not crowded at all. There were people out, but it wasn't anything like those "every square foot is taken by some bimbo with a beach towel" beaches.

There were also people parasailing, which looked insanely fun, but also reminded me of an awful Sci-Fi Channel original movie (your cue to either run, or prepare for extreme hilarious awfulness) where a parasailer is snatched out of the air by the jaws of a massive prehistoric shark-thing. So terrifyingly realistic. Like real actual cardboard cutouts. Or real actual claymation.

Additional Links

I finally got around to adding some new links to the sidebar on the right. They're marked "new" so they should stand out a little.

Here's the rundown:

Salt & Paper - Jane's lovely blog concerning food, books, and other good things in life.

Today's Inspiration - a blog about illustration from the 40s and 50s.

The Adventures of Dr. McNinja - A comic by Chris Hastings. I reviewed it earlier. Silly, melodramatic fun.

Digger - A comic by Ursula Vernon. I like her scratchy illustration style. The story is a mixture of mythology and adventure, with some genuine spooky moments thrown in. It's part of the Graphic Smash lineup. You can read the first hundred or so without subscribing. If you read all that, and still want more, that's probably a good sign that you should shell out the $2.95 and get the rest.

Gunnerkrigg Court - a comic by the English artist Tom Siddell. This is one of my recent favorites. His art is fresh and interesting to look at. It changes slightly over the course of the comic--improves, actually, which is always fascinating for me to watch. His characters are very defined, and he does an excellent job of pacing his stories, which are engrossing and magical.

Inverloch - This manga-influenced comic is by an Australian, Sarah Ellerton. The art is well done, and though the story line drags a little at times, it holds your attention because the art and character design. Also, Sarah is all around just a cool person. She lives in the outback, mate!

Lowbright - This is the site of artist and storyteller Derek Kirk Kim. Up until recently, he was doing a beautiful story called Healing Hands, but since he's one of those hyper-talented artist perfectionists, he's quit it and will be moving on to some other project. He's someone I've kept my eye one for several years now. His writing reminds me somewhat of Craig Thompson's Blankets.

Married to the Sea - a daily comic I mentioned earlier.

Stuff Sucks - another of the recent spate of women written and drawn comics I've come across. Liz Greenfield. Admittedly, this is not my favorite, but she draws a bustling city well, and her art is fun to look at.

55 Word Stories - I reviewed this little jewel earlier.

Neatorama - odd and not always reliable news stories and tidbits. Good stuff for browsing when you're bored.

Let the Wild Rumpus Begin!

I've always enjoyed J. Otto Seibold's awkwardly angular illustrations (along with Vivian Walsh's stories). Somehow everything comes together just so. Here is a link to his wonderfully bizzare take on Alice in Wonderland . It comes in a book form, but the link goes to the flash site.

Caw!

We just received our very own bird (above...obviously) from the Birds for Bulbs site. Visit the site to find out how to get your very own home-made bird by Rosemary Mosco.

The Ol' TC

I think I have an exceedingly large crush on Traverse City now that we've spent some time there, and I'm already excited to go back. I'd read quite a bit about the place, but nothing quite prepared me for just how lovely it is up there. The drive wasn't bad at all, except for a slightly boring stretch of farmland in the middle of MI. Then the evergreen forests and rolling hills started, and by the time we were within an hour of the city, we were passing lakes every few minutes.

The city itself is great, too. I'd had a little bit of dread after looking at real estate in the area--it just turned out much of what I saw for sale was unremarkable houses out in the boonies. The neighborhoods in town were full of cobbled streets gorgeous Victorian houses with turrets. Here's a neat gallery of houses and such from the area. We tooled around downtown most of one day, and had several pleasant surprises. There are lots of non-chain, independant stores downtown, which made for a nice blend of everything from cafes to bookstores to breweries. A beautiful, clear river runs right through the downtown area, and we occasionally saw someone drifting along on their innertube, or kayaking down to where it flows into the bay.

Here's where they have the annual Traverse City Film festival, and show independant films the rest of the year.

Scrumptous food and beautiful architechture aside, our best surprises were in in one of the buildings on the main street that had been divided into various small stores. In one particular one, we found a neat used book store, a vintage clothing shop, an indie record store, a gaming/hobbies store that also sells cheeeap used video games, and best of all, taking up most of the basement, a store piled high with vintage music gear and guitars. It was called "Good News Music," so we'd been expecting a hokey religious music store. Nope. Far, far cooler. That building won for sheer volume of neato things under one roof up there.

The Dennos Museum had an exhibit in Rodin's bronze sculptures, which was fabu. I learned more about the lost wax casting process, which was fun.

After the city, we went to a friend's cabin for a couple days. It was right on a lake, and we lazed about at the water's edge.

I hope the job up there for the Boy works out. Even if it doesn't, we're going to live there someday.

Land of Cherries and Dunes

Give the cats a huge bowl of food and leave the living room light on! We're hieing ourselves hence to Traverse City for the next couple weekends.

Fortunately, the Cherry Festival has just ended. Otherwise, as I understand it, I may have developed a resentment for cherries in much the same way I resent muscle cars during the Dream Cruise, and uh... much of the rest of the year. It's what comes of living in Pontiac, or for that matter, anywhere along that acursed stretch of Woodward that is glutted with crawling, gawking cruisers for the week surrounding the event. (deep breath. *sigh*) Don't get me wrong--I appreciate classic cars. I really do. It's just J'detest the people driving them at 5 MPH wearing airbrushed t-shirts declaring, "Cruise with the best, or watch like the rest!" (in a Miami Vice color scheme).

In any case, I'm hopeful that the weather in TC will be lovely. The Boy will be working for part of the time we're there, but I fully intend to wander along the waterfront, familiarize myself with things, and read a book or two. I'm also interested in finding a few of the art galleries I've heard things about. I'm pretty sure it's not grape season yet, but it also wouldn't hurt to stop by a winery or two perhaps. hic!

Hurrah for weekending.

Shine On, You Crazy Diamond.

Snap Crackle Pop

We had a very slightly illegal 4th of July fireworks display with the fam--bottle rockets and sparklers and such. It was frolicky fun. That night when we got home, our neighborhood had been transformed into some sort of benign, sparkly war zone. The cracking and booming of massive showers of fireworks was continuous--not more than a second or two break between firings. And the display wasn't just from one neighbor--it was ALL over the neighborhood. I counted 8 locations within a couple blocks that were boasting huge airborne displays, not to mention the dozens of smaller firecrackers and whippersnappers and such.


Ours is a good neighborhood for pyrotechnics. From the front porch, we watched the neighbors haul large unspecified objects into the middle of the road, light them, and saunter away before the explosion. (the pictures in this post are from that display) They noticed us and one girl came down to ask if it was bothersome. Hecks no! (Though it did cause us to wonder if we had a reputation of some sort--we're so tight with the police, you know.) We stood there watching for a little while. It was amusing to see everyone rush out and kick the smoking husks to the curb whenever a car happened hesitantly along our street.

The consistent crackling and flashing may sound annoying, but it actually was magical, and kind of dream-like. Our neighborhood was temporarily transformed--everybody outside and all craning up toward the sky. We stood on the driveway and the massive fireworks exploded directly over us. We couldn't hear anything but fireworks and occasional clapping from various approving neighbors, and the fireworks themselves cast surreal, flickering light that made beautiful things that, in daylight, were familar and mundane.


We came inside grinning from ear to ear, a little deaf, and covered in tiny pieces of ash.

6 days & way too much money later....

I'm about to walk over to the shop to get my car, which inconveniently refused to slow down when I tried to brake last Thurs. Any other weekend, mind you, (possible life-threatening crashes aside) it would have been a minor inconvenience. I love my house, and tend to mostly stick close to the nest. However, when I pressed the brake pedal and found that it went "thunk" directly to the floor and I continued on at relatively the same velocity, um... I was on my way to the airport to pick up 2 sisters from NY. The rest of my family (sans one sister) was arriving 2 days later, and there was to be much festivity and reunionizing.

There was still some reunionizing etc, as I snatched the Boy's car as soon as he arrived home, and we continued to juggle and strategize the rest of the weekend. Despite the setback, I managed to see not only family, but friends as well, and it was a lovely time.

The tiny world of even shorter stories

One of the things that I tend to check multiple times per week is Rosemary Mosco's 55 Word Stories page. Her art is charming and simple, and the forms of the birds she draws are sweet and whimsical.

The challenge she's presented herself with 55 Word Stories is just that: a story in 55 words. She manages to create teeny little stories, most with many layers. Reading a diminutive story is a modest enough investment of time that it can be a part of anyone's week.

Be sure also to check her other sites for goodies, especially her Birds for Bulbs page. The boy and I have a bird coming soon!

I'm not a good little consumer...

Not only for the fact that rather than the "buying and throwing things out" cycle, I often use freecycle to get and give stuff away, thus robbing large companies of revenue and the government of potential tax money. Darn me.

Currently though, the reason I am a poor consumer is that I'm far, far too over-analytical about television commercials. I don't watch an awful lot of TV. However, I do read into, overanalyze and get huffy about advertisements at will. When I see a poorly executed, awkward, or disjointed commercial, I get cranky and sometimes downright angry. I want to write companies and tell them how counterproductive their ad was (probably only to me). But then I realize I don't care about them.

Cases in point:

1. A commercial for a daily shower spray: a woman extols how wonderful it is, and how it's equal to the crowd of minority women in maid uniforms scrubbing the shower behind her. "Same time tomorrow?" she asks them as they file away, dejected and sweaty. Um... So, Spokeslady, are you really implying that you're not using the product you're advertising?

2. A local commercial for a dentist's office: The dentist himself is the spokesperson. He looks very much like a vampire who also happens to be a pedophile...in the mafia. He goes on and on about how you need not fear any pain at the dentist--they completely sedate you during your...procedure. Brrrr. Just...brrr.

3. A lending company commercial: a woman illustrates the simplicity of going online, applying for a loan, and ding! you're approved. The laptop she holds up to demonstrate... has clearly been jimmied in post-production in order to show the full-screen logo of the company. It looks about as convincing as a piece of paper taped to the screen.

4. I'm a pacifist, but I want to personally shoot to their gory, bloody deaths, every "hip" dancing @sshole in every Verizon V-Cast commercial. They're not just enjoying life like the folks in iPod commercials. They're not quirky and likeable. They are pointedly obnoxious, self-important wastes of space. And they should die. That goes for anyone who plays the song, "My Humps" in public.

5. It's not Comcastic. It's a rip-off. When you can get VOIP from Voice-Pulse or Vonage for $25 unlimited long distance, and Comcast claims their $40 package is "teh awesome," I have to snort derisively. Pardon. Add onto that a gentleman seductively caressing his phone and playing the tune to "Loving You" on the buttons, and I have to... er, puke derisively. Particularly with that off-key pseudo-orgasmic howling moment at the end of the commercial. No man should love a phone that way. NO. MAN.

Rant over. I think perhaps the best solution is to never watch TV.

Quick Comic Review: Married to the Sea

Married to the Sea is a daily one-panel treat wherein the two authors post a humorously captioned or altered historic print. The humor often is based in the fact that their captions are so darn inappropriate for the subject matter in terms of era and lingo.

Warning: you may not laugh if you don't find cusses funny.

Check out their MySpace site, where you may indulge in photos of many zesty hipster youths wearing MTTS swag.

This comic rates my "Daily Read" Star of Excellence (which has something to do with the fact that it's posted daily, but has mostly to do with its keenness level).

It looks just like you, Percy.

I hardly ever sit down intending to find a previously undiscovered yet interesting webcomic. They tend to somehow find me, almost. In the midst of all the possible moving weirdness and such recently, I've actually stumbled over several lovely examples.

What does it take for me to adore and read all the archives of a webcomic? I was thinking about this lately. My top reads vary wildly, but there are some things that hold true for all of them.

1. Interesting art. You don't have to be Michelangelo, but if the look of something bores me to tears in the obligatory ten or so strips I afford every comic, it's going to have to be a no. It can be as simple as Patches or as complex as Lowbright. If you have skill, it shows. Here are some sub-points under the "art" heading.
--For god's sake, don't--DON'T try to cop Akira Toriyama. I don't even like it when Toriyama does it, much less you. Sloppily drawn, spikey haired, wanna-be anime pointy faced protagonists will not even garner 10 pages worth of attention.
--This is not to say that manga-style comics will be discarded out of hand. There are some very skillfully done series I do love in that style. I can appreciate it done right.
--If you're not able to consistently draw recognizable characters, you're not ready to make a web comic. If I have to guess who's speaking, or who someone is from panel to panel, I get cranky and end up just clicking over to Boing-Boing or somewhere.

2. This may be classified partially under art, but I realllly appreciate good character design. Part of that is the look of a character, but also included is that person's (or thingy's) actual character and personality. Again, consistency is a good thing. I may roll my eyes at what your character just did, but if it makes sense within their motivations and mindset, and the story is worthwhile, I'm generally okay with that. Not to say you have to have some sort of static yahoo--It's also interesting to see characters grow or change, and when it's done well (a difficult thing), I applaud it.

3. The obvious points are important, like setting and story. I've had exposure to a lot of webcomics in my day. I also have good pattern recognition (not in the technical/Gibson sense, but in the "I recognize and associate visual stuff fairly well, even over long periods of time" way.), so if you're ripping off another webcomic, you're not going to get much love from me. Unless you do it SO better than the original.
More subpoints:
-- The web is flooded with comics about snarky, hip, twenty-something pals living in an apartment, talking about relationships, and then drinking too much and seeing silly things. Unless you think you can somehow do it better than Questionable Content, (I DOUBT IT) do yourself a favor and try something else.
-- A comic that someone earnestly tries to turn into a forum for political or other causes usually makes me yawn. I have a "Not Agaaaain" alert that goes off when I am within 50 paces of someone who's taking themselves or their comic too seriously. Sure, make a few political jokes here and there. Point out some social issues now and then. But don't harp on it. Please don't make long, inescapable rants about it. Please?
-- Is there an interesting story or clever writing in there? That's how I know I've stumbled over something worthwhile. I mean to read 10 or so, and suddenly find I'm at the end of the archive and it's however much later. It doesn't have to be epic and grand. It doesn't even have to be a "story" per say. Hecks--some of my favorites have no words sometimes. But whether visual or via words, the writer's saying something I have to be intrigued or entertained by to bother.

4. You may be as silly as you want, with my blessing. If the art and characters are interesting, and the writing is clever, you can get away with a multitude of things.

That time again...

Well, it's happening already; The neighbors are beginning the annual month-long Fourth of July celebration, which means we can sit on the balcony and get free fireworks displays. *claps like a second grader* Last night it was the neighbors across the street from our house, which meant that when we had our nightly hang-out time on the porch (on the back of the house), all we got were flashes and the sound of the fireworks going off. Ah well. It was interesting, at least.

Things have been even more insane than usual around here, with a couple possible moves in the works with new jobs for the Boy. It was busy enough with the idea of one possiblility. Now there are two. We've been frantically fencing phone calls, emails, packages and paperwork, and researching like crazy, and the Boy has been attending various interviews along the chain.

Strangely, if it happens, I'd actually be okay with the idea of moving. I would miss my friends dreadfully, but it would force me to be more intentional in emailing and calling. Neither possible destination is more than a day's drive from where we are now, so that's a comforting thought.

Then again, we might just stay right here. I'm honestly, actually, shockingly...okay with any of the above. It could be an adventure either way.

The Cause

Alert! Achtung! Are there any of you planning to go to Cornerstone Music Festival this year who haven't gotten your ticket yet? If so, you should consider buying your tickets online. When you are purchasing, enter "street team member" code: 37k610. This will help Sandy from Germany to be able to go.

She stumbled over a couple of my Cornerstone photos on Flickr, and sent me an email about how she's trying to raise enough points to get into the festival. She's never been to C-stone before, and she's already dropping mega-cash on the plane ticket, so it would be a nice favor if you know anyone who's going to buy tickets to get her the final points toward her pass.

It doesn't cost you anything extra--just a couple seconds of your time.

There's more info on Sandy on her MySpace page, here..

Score!

One of our Memorial weekend activities consisted of the Boy and I going on down to Micro Center, which is a massive orgy of nerdery and computer parts... I mean, a large computer/tech store.

Before that, we gorged ourselves on excellent sushi (oh glory!)at Nobana, an offshoot of the wonderful Noble Fish.

Back to the tech stuff. I flag rather quickly at places like that. Not that I don't love technology... It's just that it's a big place, I do not speak the language fluently, the Boy flits from place to place exclaiming and examining things, and I eventually just trail behind him in a bit of a daze. Not necessarily a bad thing. I usually end up going over and gawking at things in the Apple section.

In any case, this time when we left, I had a super-cool tablet! I've been using Painter IX to make art--so much cleaner and cheaper than busting out the oil paint and canvas. The smell of linseed oil is a happy memory from my childhood, but it's nice not to have to deal with dirty rags and paint water. Sooo, I've been having fun with the fact that it's pressure sensitive, so you can sketch in varied darknesses of pencil strokes, depending on how hard you press while you're drawing on the tablet. Hooray tablet!

Hooray also for the freaking out-of-the-blue baby freaking grand piano the Boy has finagled for me!! We're giving our current one to one of his coworkers, and then we'll have room for it. Don't get me wrong--I'm fond of my current piano, but even tuned, it's got that plinky, metallic sound common in consoles. It's hard for me to love listening to it. I grew up with a full upright that had a rich, round sound to it, and that's what I desperately miss sometimes. But no more!!

Hooray for unexpected good things!

My Head A Splode

Here you go: CUTENESS

Only watch if you have the fortitude to handle the head-exploding cuteness of an adorable singing three year old.

Small Stories: There are babies, and there are babies

On my way into Target the other day, I passed a girl leaving in tears. I had the typical wash of concern, but she was on her way so quickly there was nothing I could do but I continue with my business. This sounds odd, but I wouldn't have really thought about her again if I hadn't swung by the restroom before leaving.

I pushed open the door and spent an awkward couple moments navigating around a mother and her multiple tiny people in their various strollers and shopping carts in order to get to the only open stall. She was trying to keep everyone under control, and though the kids didn't seem bratty, persay, they were FULL of energy, and the desire to crawl beneath stall doors. The mother wrangled them fairly successfully, fortunately.

Then, as I was leaving my stall, I noticed, in the wastebasket, the box for a pregnancy test. Even if I hadn't seen the girl crying, and even if the flock of babies weren't outside, I think it would have made an impression. Somehow I don't get the sense that someone buys a pregnancy test and takes it immediately, alone in a Target bathroom, if everything is okay. It makes me sad.

Maybe I'm making connections that don't exist. Maybe the crying girl was upset about the impending Britney/K-Fed breakup. Yes. I can pretend a hopeful girl took the test and was thrilled with the result, or that a worried woman took it and was relieved by what it said.