Another Post for the Commercial Hall of Shame

Now that Superbowl Sunday is over, and I've watched all the commercials (online) that I forgot to watch at the same time as I didn't watch the game... (?) it's gotten me thinking about a couple commercials which ought to be stricken forever from the broadcast lineups. Both commercials make me cringe in distinctly different ways.

Offender #1: Office Depot's "Lend you a Hand" commercials

"No. NO NO! NO-NO-NO!!" That is what I would have said, accompanied by a smack with a rolled up newspaper, to the marketing team responsible for this campaign. The first time I glimpsed one of these things, I noted the crisp office envionment, the obvious whites and reds, and I thought, "Oh neat! A Staples "Easy Button" commercial I haven't yet seen!" How wrong I was.

Perhaps explaining what is good about the "Easy button" campagin will help explain what is so stinky about the "Lend you a hand" campaign.

Easy Button: After some office consternation, someone presses the Staples "easy button," wherein all their problems are miraculously solved. The button is a fun and witty little representation of all the services Staples offers. We know printer ink doesn't fall from the sky when you press the easy button, but it gets the point across nicely, and I enjoy the multiple takes on how the world works in the little Staples alternate universe. I see it, and I remember the brand--it's Staples, and it's easy to get things done there! Right?

Lend you a Hand: In these commercials, some actor melodramatically heaves sighs about how much work there is to do, and another person declares overcheerfully, "Sounds like YOU need a hand!" At this point, a suspicious parcel on someone's desk explodes open, a disembodied hand shooting out the top. Rather than fleeing in terror, everyone congratulates each other as though it were the finale of a vintage Mentos commercial. "Oh, you...I guess you made a pun!" What miracles does the hand perform, you ask? Does it show them amazing shortcuts and exemplify all the things Office Depot employees can help you accomplish? Does it snap its fingers and cause the office supplies to be restocked? Actually, no. Well....uh... it waves. And it points at things. And it probably gives people the finger when the camera's not rolling.

It's pointless. Someone hands it a paper, and it puts the paper into the box, which happens to be oh...a foot or two away from the person handing it the paper. So are they saying using Office Depot adds more steps to what ought to be simple tasks? An office worker labors behind an overfilled shopping cart. Perched atop the pile, the hand in its box points imperiously at various things that the office worker knows he needs to get anyway. Does this exemplify Office Depot customer service? When asked for help, do they wordlessly point at something out of reach on a shelf?

Come on now--they're not even giving you a hand, They're lending it to you. God knows they'll probably crap out on giving you your deposit back if the cuticles aren't just so when you return it.

Seriously though, these commercials just fall flat. They're not amusing, the early-nineties over the top jingle is annoying, and it's a blatent and lame attempt to copy the "Easy Button" commercials. Boo on you, Office Depot!


Next up, Zatarain's: Dirty Rice and dirty old men!